April 9, 2025
Woman's Down Low Husband Tries To Kill Her For Confronting Him
In this deeply personal episode of No Tears For Black Girls, a woman known only as Aisha courageously shares her heart-wrenching story of surviving a 13-year marriage filled with unimaginable abuse. She recounts the physical beatings that left her battered and broken, the sexual coercion she faced, and her husband's shocking infidelity with men. Enduring unspeakable trauma at the hands of the man she once loved, Aisha felt trapped in a cycle of manipulation and fear. Yet, she ultimately found the strength to continue, even after a near-fatal attack that led to her abuser's imprisonment. Aisha's powerful narrative illuminates the complex realities of domestic violence, highlights the resilience of the human spirit, and underscores the ongoing struggles faced by countless women caught in toxic relationships.
CREDITS:
Created, Written, & Produced by John Reedburg
Hosted & Narrated by Samantha Paul
Production Company: John Reedburg Media
SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS:
https://www.youtube.com/@NoTearsForBlacksGirls
facebook.com/notearsforblackgirls
instagram.com/notearsforblackgirls
tiktok.com/@notearsforblackgirls
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He always asked me for anal sex
and if I refuse it was an
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argument, it was a fight, it was
a challenge and sometimes he
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00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:09,920
would take it.
He didn't care if I cried, he
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00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:15,360
didn't care if I was like no
like he jailhouse rape anally.
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The last time we went away for
our anniversary I had enough.
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It was like 2 years before the
incident.
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I was completely turned off,
completely numb and I wasn't
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scared of him anymore.
I'd rather die than be still
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living that type of life.
Like being being to the point
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where it's like you scared to go
to bed at night because you
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know, this man is won't ask you
for sex and the type of sex he's
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asking you for is not normal.
It's painful and he don't care.
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He don't care that you was up
all day with three kids, you
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know, maintaining a house,
cooking and cleaning and doing
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whatever it is you got to do.
He don't care of your period on.
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He don't care if you have a
headache.
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He don't care.
I just started to feel like I
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wasn't.
I wasn't being loved anymore.
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Aisha's harrowing story begins
with a violent confrontation
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that would ultimately lead to
her husband's decade long
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imprisonment.
That night, after discussing
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divorce and resolving to leave
him, she had put her children to
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bed with a sense of hope.
However, her estranged husband
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T, who had secretly kept a copy
of his house key, appeared in
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her doorway while she slept.
The ensuing confrontation
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exemplified the cycle of abuse
that had dominated their
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relationship.
T trapped her in the room for
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hours, alternating between
pleading and threats.
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When Aisha finally stood firm in
her decision to leave, he
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attacked her with devastating
force, beating her and
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attempting to strangle her.
Only by biting his finger to the
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bone did she manage to break his
grip and survive.
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The violence that night reached
new heights of brutality.
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After forcing her into the
bathroom to clean her wounds,
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Tea LED Aisha to their basement
filled with tools that could
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become weapons.
She managed to escape to her
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truck, though T threatened
suicide before fleeing with her
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children, who had been awake and
hiding during the attack.
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Aisha drove erratically toward
the hospital until a police
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officer intercepted them and
provided an escort.
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The physical damage was severe,
A gashed eye and cheek, a
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knocked out tooth, blood
streaming down her face.
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This time, Aisha resolved to
press charges, breaking the
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pattern of covering up his
abuse.
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She had previously even lied to
his probation officer at his
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behest, staying home when
bruises marked her skin.
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Their history together stretched
back to when Aisha was 12 and T
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was 16, a neighborhood boy who
offered to protect her.
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They reconnected 12 years later,
but she didn't know about his
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violent past, including an 8
year prison sentence for robbing
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and pistol whipping a store
owner at age 16.
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The audio recording Aisha made
proved crucial to his
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conviction.
In it, she deliberately
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established that she had never
cheated, stolen or disrespected
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him, anticipating he might try
to defame her character.
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She had been a devoted wife,
keeping an Immaculate home and
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meeting his needs, yet still
endured relentless abuse.
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Their 13 year marriage was
marked by escalating sexual
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demands and manipulation.
T struggled with his sexuality,
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constantly pressuring Aisha for
anal sex despite her tears and
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refusals.
He watched extensive pornography
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and eventually demanded she
participate in acts that left
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her feeling violated and
dehumanized.
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The financial control was
absolute, though T provided well
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buying them a house outside
Philadelphia and furnishing it
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lavishly.
It was all leverage to keep her
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dependent.
Any attempt by Aisha to work or
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attend school was met with
fierce opposition.
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With three young children and no
independent income, she felt
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trapped.
The situation grew more complex
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as TS sexual confusion deepened.
He began watching specific types
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of pornography and ultimately
pressured Aisha into using sex
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toys on him, insisting it wasn't
gay if a woman did it.
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She later discovered hidden
folders on his computer
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containing both family photos
and explicit material.
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Their religious life offered no
refuge, though they attended
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church regularly with their
children.
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T weaponized their faith, using
prayers and promises of change
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to maintain control.
The pastor's response to Aisha's
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reports of abuse, merely praying
over them and sending them home,
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contributed to her eventual
departure from Christianity and
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conversion to Islam.
After escaping this marriage,
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Aisha faced an even more
devastating betrayal in her
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second marriage to Elun
Abdullah.
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Despite careful vetting,
including meeting his large
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Muslim family, Abdullah sexually
abused Aisha's daughter for over
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a year while Aisha was at work,
even taking the girl for an
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abortion without Aisha's
knowledge.
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When confronted, Abdullah
initially denied the abuse but
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eventually admitted to it.
Aisha worked methodically with
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local authorities and detectives
to secure warrants for his
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arrest, with the abortion clinic
paperwork providing crucial
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evidence.
The revelation devastated her.
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She had specifically chosen
Abdullah, believing his family
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background made him safe around
women.
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Throughout both relationships,
Aisha's primary concern was
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protecting her children.
She had stayed with Tea, partly
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due to insecurities about
raising her daughter without her
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father.
With Abdullah, she thought she
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had found someone who would help
protect her daughter while she
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worked.
The guilt of failing to prevent
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her daughter's abuse weighs
heavily on her.
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Aisha's story illuminates the
complex dynamics of domestic
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abuse, how financial dependency,
religious manipulation, concern
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for children, and social
isolation create nearly
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inescapable traps.
The escalation of violence when
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victims try to leave makes
escape particularly dangerous
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without support systems in
place.
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Her experience also reveals how
abusers use multiple forms of
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control physical violence,
sexual coercion, financial
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restriction, and psychological
manipulation.
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TS ability to maintain a
respectable public image while
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privately terrorizing his family
is typical of many abusers.
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The role of sexuality in the
abuse adds another layer of
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complexity.
TS struggles with his sexual
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identity, manifested in
increasingly extreme demands on
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Aisha while maintaining the
facade of a traditional
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marriage.
His porn addiction and sexual
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confusion became weapons of
control and humiliation.
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Aisha's journey from victim to
survivor shows remarkable
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resilience.
She evolved from trying to be
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the perfect wife to someone
strong enough to leave press
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charges and ultimately share her
story to help others.
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Her message emphasizes the
importance of trusting one's
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instincts.
If you have to question whether
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something is wrong, it probably
is.
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The impact of abuse extends far
beyond the immediate violence.
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Aisha's children witnessed years
of trauma hiding in their rooms
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during attacks.
Her daughter's later abuse by
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Abdullah compounds the
generational trauma.
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Yet Aisha continues to speak
out, turning her pain into a
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warning and guidance for others
trapped in similar situations.
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Her story underscores the
critical importance of
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recognizing early warning signs
and having escape plans and
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support systems in place.
The progression from control to
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violence.
The use of children as leverage,
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the isolation from support
networks.
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These patterns repeat across
many abuse cases.
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By sharing her experience, Aisha
helps others identify these red
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flags before abuse escalates to
life threatening levels.
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My story is important because
we're at a climax where
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sexuality is being challenged
and studied every day.
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It's only best to hear
experiences from people who are
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actually living through it.
Yes, I can.
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I can.
I can't agree more.
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OK, take us back to the day that
landed your husband in prison
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for 10 years.
The the day that that happened,
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we had spoke briefly earlier
that day about, you know, him,
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him wanting to come home.
He was just still like in that
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just take me back mode.
And I was just like adamant,
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like, no, I spoke to a lawyer
for getting a divorce.
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You know, I'm serious this time
because I've threatened to leave
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numerous times before.
But that particular day, I just
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remember coming home with the
kids.
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I probably went to like APTA
meeting that day, came home and
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made some food.
I felt good.
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You know, I felt like this is it
like I'm, I'm out.
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I don't have to worry about him
anymore.
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So I, I cooked everything and
you know, me and the kids just
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enjoyed our meal and we washed
up and went to bed to get ready
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for the next day.
So I, I went to bed and
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everything, when I, I was
sleeping, I, I kind of like, I
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don't know if you, if you're a
light sleeper and you feel
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somebody standing over you.
It was kind of like that, Like I
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was asleep and I just felt
somebody standing over me.
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And at the time he wasn't living
in a house.
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Like we had got to the point
where he had moved out and he
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probably was out of the home for
a good two months.
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Nobody knew what was going on,
but he was out of the home for
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probably a good two months and
like, well, I felt somebody
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standing over me.
So I kind of like opened my eyes
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and it was him.
And I was just like, you know,
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it's hurry how you get in here
because we had already made an
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agreement that he would stay out
of the house until I actually
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moved out.
And he was just like in the
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dark.
It was just like in the dark in
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the doorway.
And so I just immediately jumped
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up.
I didn't have any, you know,
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clothes on.
So I just jumped up and grab
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some scrubs that I had in the
drawer and I threw them on and
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he was just like, I was like,
how did you get in here?
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And he was like, oh, I climbed
through the window and I was
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like, no, you didn't.
You didn't climb through the
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window because I locked it.
And I made sure that I checked
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all of the windows before I had
actually went to bed that night.
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So I knew for a fact he didn't
come through the window.
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He pretended to give me the key,
but he had a copy of the key.
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So all the whole time he knew he
could get back and forth and and
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out of the house.
I didn't know.
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So it just was like that.
So I just woke up and then it
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just we he just went into his
spiel of, you know, take me
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back.
You know, we're married.
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You you can't get a divorce.
Don't divorce me.
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You said you would never leave
and things like that.
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And I just was like, Tyree, I'm
tired, you know, I'm tired of
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going through these things with
you.
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You keep finding a reason to put
your hands on me.
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And it's just to the point now
it's just like you won't wind up
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killing me.
Like he was my friend.
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So I'll talk to him through
through his violence, like, you
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know, like, listen, you could
hit me and not even mean to kill
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me, you know, I could just hit
my head on the table or some
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shit like that, you know.
So it was like I was trying to
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be like as empathetic as
possible in the beginning when
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he first came in, like, look,
you know, like we talked about
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this.
He just kept on going on and on
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and kept me in the room for
probably like four or five hours
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just trying to convince me to
stay with him.
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And then once I finally was
like, you know, I finally got
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mad enough to like, raise my
voice.
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He just punched me.
He just punched me.
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I fell on the floor and he just
kept punching me in my face.
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And that's all I felt was him
just punched me in my face.
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And then he was just saying
stuff like that.
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You want to die tonight?
Like this is what you wanted.
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You're going to die like.
And then he just started choking
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me.
And when he started choking me,
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I kind of felt like I was
passing out, like it was just
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real hard for me to breathe.
And I kind of was just like
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fighting, you know, to get his
hands off my neck.
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00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,960
And I kind of turned around to
the side.
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00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,280
And when I turned around to the
side, his finger went in my
223
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,320
mouth.
And when his finger went in my
224
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:08,160
mouth, I just bit down.
I just just bit every all the
225
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,320
blood, the bone, I felt the bone
in his hand and everything.
226
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,760
And so then he kind of like,
snapped out of it at that moment
227
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,880
because it was like, his eyes
was black for a while.
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00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,400
And when I bit his hand, he kind
of like, snapped out of and was
229
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,320
like, oh, shit.
And he just looked at me and he
230
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:29,160
was like, like, pick me up off
the floor and carried me in the
231
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,960
bathroom and started running the
water on me.
232
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,080
And he just was like, don't call
the cops on me.
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00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:43,840
Don't get locked up.
So yeah, and after that, I kind
234
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,640
of was just like pleading with
him to let me go to the
235
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,240
hospital.
Meanwhile, the kids is in the
236
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,600
room.
I was screaming for my, I was
237
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:52,840
screaming for help, but nobody,
they they was young.
238
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,560
They wasn't going to come from
out of their room.
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00:13:55,200 --> 00:14:01,240
So when I finally got him to let
me go to the hospital, I was
240
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,760
just like, just let me go to the
hospital.
241
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,240
I just feel like I'm about to
pass out.
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00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:08,320
And he kind of like let me down
the steps into the basement and
243
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,440
I just never forget going into
that basement.
244
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,120
I felt like I was going to die
right then and there because he
245
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:18,000
had so many tools and so many
things like saws and bats and
246
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,800
and drills, all kinds of stuff
was in the basement.
247
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:24,520
But I got out of the basement
and I got into my car.
248
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,960
My truck was parked in the back
of the house.
249
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,680
And when I got in the truck, he
was just looking at me and he
250
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,840
was like, I'm killing myself.
And he just ran off up the
251
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:38,200
street the other way.
And I drove my car out the
252
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:42,640
alley, came around a block the
long way and ran in the house.
253
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,040
And I called for all the three
of the kids and they as soon as
254
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:46,760
they hurt me, they just ran down
the steps.
255
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:51,800
And we got in the car and we
start driving and as I'm driving
256
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,360
to the emergency room, I'm
swerving.
257
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:57,560
So a police officer was parked
right there on Lindbergh Blvd.
258
00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:00,080
He's seen me.
He just was like pulled me over.
259
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,200
And then when he pulled, got up
to the car, he was just escorted
260
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:06,600
me to the hospital and he was
escorted me to the hospital.
261
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:09,760
And I never forget when I got in
there, he was he was just
262
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,880
looking at me.
He was like you better press
263
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,920
chargers.
Like he saw my face, like my
264
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:17,440
face was bloody.
I had a gash right here that cut
265
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,640
inside my mouth, like my tooth
on the inside went in my mouth.
266
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,600
So it was a big gash in the
inside of my mouth that was
267
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,440
bleeding in the gash on the
outside.
268
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:30,760
I had a gash down here from my
tooth going in my face and my
269
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,600
tooth right here was knocked out
from the root.
270
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,240
Yeah.
Is your kids reacting while this
271
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,080
is going on?
Do they hear it or they sleep
272
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,920
through it?
They weren't asleep.
273
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,360
They were.
They were literally hiding
274
00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:56,000
behind their room doors at the
time.
275
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,400
They wasn't asleep at all.
Was this something that they
276
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,360
were used?
To yes.
277
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:06,440
They heard the violence in the
home regularly.
278
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:13,970
Is it ever occurred to you?
Like maybe I'm not going to
279
00:16:13,970 --> 00:16:20,050
press charges or did you know?
No, I knew I had to press
280
00:16:20,050 --> 00:16:22,770
charges.
I knew I had to press charges
281
00:16:22,770 --> 00:16:26,010
because he wasn't the type of
person like he's done this
282
00:16:26,010 --> 00:16:28,410
before.
And I remember one time it got
283
00:16:28,410 --> 00:16:32,130
so far as me calling his
probation officer and he talked
284
00:16:32,130 --> 00:16:35,810
me out of telling her the truth.
He was that good of persuading
285
00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:39,920
me not to press charges or, you
know, just to go along with it.
286
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:42,200
Like if I was bruised up, I stay
home.
287
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,200
He he went to jail before for
what?
288
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:50,400
The first time he went to jail,
he went to jail for robbing the
289
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,840
store.
And the ironic thing was the
290
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,800
store was on the corner of the
block where I grew up.
291
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:58,280
I never knew it was him that
robbed that Lady, but I remember
292
00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:01,240
what that Lady face look like
when he robbed her.
293
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,440
Miss Kim, I remember what her
face look like.
294
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,960
She had a black eye, black and
blue for a while.
295
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,040
He pistol whipped her.
I didn't know that was him until
296
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,720
after we were together.
And he would tell me.
297
00:17:12,079 --> 00:17:14,760
Yeah, you know, I got locked up,
so I robbed.
298
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:15,800
Oh, wow.
That was.
299
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,040
You never know.
And.
300
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:20,800
How much time did he do for
that?
301
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:24,880
He did 8 years for that, but he
was pretty young when he did
302
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,440
that, so he was like 16, about
to be 17.
303
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,000
So when he did that, they let
him go to jail.
304
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,840
He served some time and then he
got out on probation or parole
305
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,400
or whatever, but he violated
that because he got into a fight
306
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:42,920
with his then baby mom's husband
and he got in a fight with him,
307
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,440
which led him back to do the
rest of his time.
308
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:51,600
So this was someone, a violent
person, you've known him to be
309
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:55,640
violent?
The thing about it was, is that
310
00:17:55,720 --> 00:18:01,280
I I met Tyree when I was 12.
He was probably 16.
311
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,640
He was a boy in the
neighborhood.
312
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,720
I was new to the neighborhood.
He was a boy in the
313
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,920
neighborhood.
If I had to go anywhere, I had
314
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,120
to walk past his block and he
was always outside.
315
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,840
So he was always like, hey, you
are anybody messing with you?
316
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,600
You know, it was those type of,
it was that type of
317
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,160
relationship.
It wasn't that I knew him, knew
318
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:24,320
him, you know what I'm saying?
And we met back up almost 12
319
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:27,280
years later.
So it went from a childhood
320
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:31,240
crush to all right, I just ran
into my childhood crush.
321
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,040
And this is at 16 years old when
you meet him.
322
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:37,880
He goes to prison at 17 years
old, which is a year later.
323
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,800
You told me he already had kids.
He already had two children, 16
324
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,360
years old, and I didn't know
that either.
325
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:48,640
I didn't know none of this until
I got or I was already involved
326
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:54,520
with him.
OK, When we spoke, you told me
327
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:59,040
one of the things that you were
able to convict him was a audio
328
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,200
recording.
What was the details of the
329
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,720
audio recording?
The details of the audio
330
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,680
recording was just a
conversation of him.
331
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:12,000
Just like you hear me saying,
you know, Tyree, I don't want to
332
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,120
do this anymore.
I just want a divorce.
333
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,200
And he's like, well, I don't
want a divorce.
334
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,720
You don't have any choice.
And then you hear him saying
335
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:24,240
things like, well, we're
married.
336
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,400
You, you don't have a choice.
You just don't have a choice.
337
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,200
I don't want a divorce.
I don't want a divorce.
338
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,760
And you just hear me constantly
saying it's, it's, it's enough.
339
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,760
I don't want to do this anymore.
And then I kind of got smart
340
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,160
with it at a point in time
because I felt, I really felt
341
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,560
like that night I was going to
die.
342
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,640
And I felt like he had the, the
ability to make anything up
343
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,600
towards me.
Oh, she ran away.
344
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:48,280
Oh, she just, she was cheated.
So I started asking questions
345
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,720
like, did I ever cheat on you?
I mean, because I need, I need
346
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,200
you to tell me what is the
reason you feel like you could
347
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,880
keep putting your hands on me?
Have I ever cheated on you?
348
00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:00,120
That I ever steal from you, that
I ever disrespect you?
349
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,080
And he's like, no, no, no, you
ain't never do none of that.
350
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,440
You ain't never do that.
Why are you asking me that?
351
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,440
I said because I just wanted to
be clear that I've never cheated
352
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,200
on you.
I've never disrespect you and I
353
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,760
never stole from you.
And in my mind, those are the
354
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,360
those are the type of women that
deserve, if not deserve.
355
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,960
But if a man is going to put
their hands on a woman, those
356
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,560
are the type of woman.
Those things happen.
357
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,600
I didn't cheat.
I never left my home.
358
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,800
My house was clean.
He he was living a good life as
359
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,160
far as me as a wife.
I made sure his clothes was
360
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,400
ironed, you know what I'm
saying?
361
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,440
Before he went to work like I
did everything.
362
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,080
Did you experience domestic
violence as a kid?
363
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,200
To a certain extent, like my mom
and my dad was never together,
364
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,720
but I did, which the witness
don't fight and I did know that
365
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:45,680
my dad hit women.
Thanks for listening to No Tears
366
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,240
for Black Girls.
If you enjoyed our show, please
367
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:51,600
take a moment to leave us a five
star rating, Hit that subscribe
368
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,280
button and give us a follow on
social media.
369
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:58,400
Your support means the world to
us and helps us continue sharing
370
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:03,600
these important stories.
Stay blessed, stay loved, and
371
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,840
most importantly, stay safe.
00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:04,040
He always asked me for anal sex
and if I refuse it was an
2
00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,280
argument, it was a fight, it was
a challenge and sometimes he
3
00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:09,920
would take it.
He didn't care if I cried, he
4
00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:15,360
didn't care if I was like no
like he jailhouse rape anally.
5
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,640
The last time we went away for
our anniversary I had enough.
6
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,440
It was like 2 years before the
incident.
7
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:26,640
I was completely turned off,
completely numb and I wasn't
8
00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:31,560
scared of him anymore.
I'd rather die than be still
9
00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:34,720
living that type of life.
Like being being to the point
10
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:36,960
where it's like you scared to go
to bed at night because you
11
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,960
know, this man is won't ask you
for sex and the type of sex he's
12
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,160
asking you for is not normal.
It's painful and he don't care.
13
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,480
He don't care that you was up
all day with three kids, you
14
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:50,200
know, maintaining a house,
cooking and cleaning and doing
15
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:53,600
whatever it is you got to do.
He don't care of your period on.
16
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,280
He don't care if you have a
headache.
17
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:59,320
He don't care.
I just started to feel like I
18
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:03,040
wasn't.
I wasn't being loved anymore.
19
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,600
Aisha's harrowing story begins
with a violent confrontation
20
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,720
that would ultimately lead to
her husband's decade long
21
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:14,560
imprisonment.
That night, after discussing
22
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:18,000
divorce and resolving to leave
him, she had put her children to
23
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:23,160
bed with a sense of hope.
However, her estranged husband
24
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:27,680
T, who had secretly kept a copy
of his house key, appeared in
25
00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:32,520
her doorway while she slept.
The ensuing confrontation
26
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,800
exemplified the cycle of abuse
that had dominated their
27
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:39,160
relationship.
T trapped her in the room for
28
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,600
hours, alternating between
pleading and threats.
29
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:47,120
When Aisha finally stood firm in
her decision to leave, he
30
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,040
attacked her with devastating
force, beating her and
31
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:53,480
attempting to strangle her.
Only by biting his finger to the
32
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,280
bone did she manage to break his
grip and survive.
33
00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:01,560
The violence that night reached
new heights of brutality.
34
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,440
After forcing her into the
bathroom to clean her wounds,
35
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:09,160
Tea LED Aisha to their basement
filled with tools that could
36
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,440
become weapons.
She managed to escape to her
37
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:17,080
truck, though T threatened
suicide before fleeing with her
38
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,160
children, who had been awake and
hiding during the attack.
39
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:24,040
Aisha drove erratically toward
the hospital until a police
40
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:27,040
officer intercepted them and
provided an escort.
41
00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:32,000
The physical damage was severe,
A gashed eye and cheek, a
42
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,000
knocked out tooth, blood
streaming down her face.
43
00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:39,720
This time, Aisha resolved to
press charges, breaking the
44
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,680
pattern of covering up his
abuse.
45
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:46,120
She had previously even lied to
his probation officer at his
46
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:50,120
behest, staying home when
bruises marked her skin.
47
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,760
Their history together stretched
back to when Aisha was 12 and T
48
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,280
was 16, a neighborhood boy who
offered to protect her.
49
00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:02,520
They reconnected 12 years later,
but she didn't know about his
50
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:06,200
violent past, including an 8
year prison sentence for robbing
51
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,000
and pistol whipping a store
owner at age 16.
52
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,720
The audio recording Aisha made
proved crucial to his
53
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,800
conviction.
In it, she deliberately
54
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:20,360
established that she had never
cheated, stolen or disrespected
55
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:24,360
him, anticipating he might try
to defame her character.
56
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,800
She had been a devoted wife,
keeping an Immaculate home and
57
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:32,600
meeting his needs, yet still
endured relentless abuse.
58
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,800
Their 13 year marriage was
marked by escalating sexual
59
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:41,120
demands and manipulation.
T struggled with his sexuality,
60
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:46,000
constantly pressuring Aisha for
anal sex despite her tears and
61
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:50,080
refusals.
He watched extensive pornography
62
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,120
and eventually demanded she
participate in acts that left
63
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,560
her feeling violated and
dehumanized.
64
00:03:56,320 --> 00:04:00,280
The financial control was
absolute, though T provided well
65
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,400
buying them a house outside
Philadelphia and furnishing it
66
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,120
lavishly.
It was all leverage to keep her
67
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,360
dependent.
Any attempt by Aisha to work or
68
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,760
attend school was met with
fierce opposition.
69
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,840
With three young children and no
independent income, she felt
70
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,040
trapped.
The situation grew more complex
71
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:23,520
as TS sexual confusion deepened.
He began watching specific types
72
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:27,320
of pornography and ultimately
pressured Aisha into using sex
73
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,760
toys on him, insisting it wasn't
gay if a woman did it.
74
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,280
She later discovered hidden
folders on his computer
75
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:38,200
containing both family photos
and explicit material.
76
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:42,880
Their religious life offered no
refuge, though they attended
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00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:44,720
church regularly with their
children.
78
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:49,120
T weaponized their faith, using
prayers and promises of change
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00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:53,200
to maintain control.
The pastor's response to Aisha's
80
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:57,120
reports of abuse, merely praying
over them and sending them home,
81
00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,960
contributed to her eventual
departure from Christianity and
82
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:04,880
conversion to Islam.
After escaping this marriage,
83
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,400
Aisha faced an even more
devastating betrayal in her
84
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,800
second marriage to Elun
Abdullah.
85
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:14,600
Despite careful vetting,
including meeting his large
86
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:19,000
Muslim family, Abdullah sexually
abused Aisha's daughter for over
87
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,960
a year while Aisha was at work,
even taking the girl for an
88
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,960
abortion without Aisha's
knowledge.
89
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:29,640
When confronted, Abdullah
initially denied the abuse but
90
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:33,320
eventually admitted to it.
Aisha worked methodically with
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00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:36,600
local authorities and detectives
to secure warrants for his
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00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:40,400
arrest, with the abortion clinic
paperwork providing crucial
93
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,400
evidence.
The revelation devastated her.
94
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:47,360
She had specifically chosen
Abdullah, believing his family
95
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,520
background made him safe around
women.
96
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,040
Throughout both relationships,
Aisha's primary concern was
97
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,760
protecting her children.
She had stayed with Tea, partly
98
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,400
due to insecurities about
raising her daughter without her
99
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,680
father.
With Abdullah, she thought she
100
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:06,120
had found someone who would help
protect her daughter while she
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00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:09,080
worked.
The guilt of failing to prevent
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00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,280
her daughter's abuse weighs
heavily on her.
103
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:16,040
Aisha's story illuminates the
complex dynamics of domestic
104
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:21,520
abuse, how financial dependency,
religious manipulation, concern
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00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:25,320
for children, and social
isolation create nearly
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00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:29,560
inescapable traps.
The escalation of violence when
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00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:33,200
victims try to leave makes
escape particularly dangerous
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00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,160
without support systems in
place.
109
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:39,800
Her experience also reveals how
abusers use multiple forms of
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00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:44,200
control physical violence,
sexual coercion, financial
111
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,240
restriction, and psychological
manipulation.
112
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,280
TS ability to maintain a
respectable public image while
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00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:55,480
privately terrorizing his family
is typical of many abusers.
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00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,560
The role of sexuality in the
abuse adds another layer of
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00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:03,600
complexity.
TS struggles with his sexual
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00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:07,600
identity, manifested in
increasingly extreme demands on
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00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,840
Aisha while maintaining the
facade of a traditional
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00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,760
marriage.
His porn addiction and sexual
119
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:17,680
confusion became weapons of
control and humiliation.
120
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,560
Aisha's journey from victim to
survivor shows remarkable
121
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,400
resilience.
She evolved from trying to be
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00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,000
the perfect wife to someone
strong enough to leave press
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00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,520
charges and ultimately share her
story to help others.
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00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,080
Her message emphasizes the
importance of trusting one's
125
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,400
instincts.
If you have to question whether
126
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,600
something is wrong, it probably
is.
127
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:45,320
The impact of abuse extends far
beyond the immediate violence.
128
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:50,040
Aisha's children witnessed years
of trauma hiding in their rooms
129
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,040
during attacks.
Her daughter's later abuse by
130
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,480
Abdullah compounds the
generational trauma.
131
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,640
Yet Aisha continues to speak
out, turning her pain into a
132
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:03,560
warning and guidance for others
trapped in similar situations.
133
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,520
Her story underscores the
critical importance of
134
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:11,320
recognizing early warning signs
and having escape plans and
135
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:15,200
support systems in place.
The progression from control to
136
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,000
violence.
The use of children as leverage,
137
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,440
the isolation from support
networks.
138
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,640
These patterns repeat across
many abuse cases.
139
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:28,440
By sharing her experience, Aisha
helps others identify these red
140
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:32,200
flags before abuse escalates to
life threatening levels.
141
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:39,120
My story is important because
we're at a climax where
142
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:43,400
sexuality is being challenged
and studied every day.
143
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,720
It's only best to hear
experiences from people who are
144
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:51,160
actually living through it.
Yes, I can.
145
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,160
I can.
I can't agree more.
146
00:08:54,080 --> 00:09:00,920
OK, take us back to the day that
landed your husband in prison
147
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:06,520
for 10 years.
The the day that that happened,
148
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:11,800
we had spoke briefly earlier
that day about, you know, him,
149
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,760
him wanting to come home.
He was just still like in that
150
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,200
just take me back mode.
And I was just like adamant,
151
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,600
like, no, I spoke to a lawyer
for getting a divorce.
152
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,680
You know, I'm serious this time
because I've threatened to leave
153
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:30,960
numerous times before.
But that particular day, I just
154
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,440
remember coming home with the
kids.
155
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:38,720
I probably went to like APTA
meeting that day, came home and
156
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,320
made some food.
I felt good.
157
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,040
You know, I felt like this is it
like I'm, I'm out.
158
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,840
I don't have to worry about him
anymore.
159
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:49,920
So I, I cooked everything and
you know, me and the kids just
160
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,600
enjoyed our meal and we washed
up and went to bed to get ready
161
00:09:53,600 --> 00:10:00,360
for the next day.
So I, I went to bed and
162
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:04,400
everything, when I, I was
sleeping, I, I kind of like, I
163
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,680
don't know if you, if you're a
light sleeper and you feel
164
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:10,000
somebody standing over you.
It was kind of like that, Like I
165
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,320
was asleep and I just felt
somebody standing over me.
166
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,600
And at the time he wasn't living
in a house.
167
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:19,280
Like we had got to the point
where he had moved out and he
168
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:22,160
probably was out of the home for
a good two months.
169
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,720
Nobody knew what was going on,
but he was out of the home for
170
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:29,560
probably a good two months and
like, well, I felt somebody
171
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:31,880
standing over me.
So I kind of like opened my eyes
172
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,840
and it was him.
And I was just like, you know,
173
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:39,120
it's hurry how you get in here
because we had already made an
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00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,880
agreement that he would stay out
of the house until I actually
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00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:46,760
moved out.
And he was just like in the
176
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,200
dark.
It was just like in the dark in
177
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,160
the doorway.
And so I just immediately jumped
178
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,160
up.
I didn't have any, you know,
179
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,920
clothes on.
So I just jumped up and grab
180
00:10:56,240 --> 00:11:00,760
some scrubs that I had in the
drawer and I threw them on and
181
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,800
he was just like, I was like,
how did you get in here?
182
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,400
And he was like, oh, I climbed
through the window and I was
183
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,880
like, no, you didn't.
You didn't climb through the
184
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,240
window because I locked it.
And I made sure that I checked
185
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,080
all of the windows before I had
actually went to bed that night.
186
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,200
So I knew for a fact he didn't
come through the window.
187
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,840
He pretended to give me the key,
but he had a copy of the key.
188
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:23,640
So all the whole time he knew he
could get back and forth and and
189
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,000
out of the house.
I didn't know.
190
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:30,240
So it just was like that.
So I just woke up and then it
191
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:34,080
just we he just went into his
spiel of, you know, take me
192
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,680
back.
You know, we're married.
193
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:39,120
You you can't get a divorce.
Don't divorce me.
194
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:42,040
You said you would never leave
and things like that.
195
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,760
And I just was like, Tyree, I'm
tired, you know, I'm tired of
196
00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:45,920
going through these things with
you.
197
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,680
You keep finding a reason to put
your hands on me.
198
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,280
And it's just to the point now
it's just like you won't wind up
199
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,440
killing me.
Like he was my friend.
200
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:57,360
So I'll talk to him through
through his violence, like, you
201
00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,840
know, like, listen, you could
hit me and not even mean to kill
202
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,560
me, you know, I could just hit
my head on the table or some
203
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:07,480
shit like that, you know.
So it was like I was trying to
204
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,800
be like as empathetic as
possible in the beginning when
205
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,680
he first came in, like, look,
you know, like we talked about
206
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:16,200
this.
He just kept on going on and on
207
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,960
and kept me in the room for
probably like four or five hours
208
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,400
just trying to convince me to
stay with him.
209
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:24,840
And then once I finally was
like, you know, I finally got
210
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,760
mad enough to like, raise my
voice.
211
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,360
He just punched me.
He just punched me.
212
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:32,640
I fell on the floor and he just
kept punching me in my face.
213
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,200
And that's all I felt was him
just punched me in my face.
214
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:39,000
And then he was just saying
stuff like that.
215
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,240
You want to die tonight?
Like this is what you wanted.
216
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,480
You're going to die like.
And then he just started choking
217
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,880
me.
And when he started choking me,
218
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:51,080
I kind of felt like I was
passing out, like it was just
219
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:54,400
real hard for me to breathe.
And I kind of was just like
220
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,440
fighting, you know, to get his
hands off my neck.
221
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,960
And I kind of turned around to
the side.
222
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,280
And when I turned around to the
side, his finger went in my
223
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,320
mouth.
And when his finger went in my
224
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:08,160
mouth, I just bit down.
I just just bit every all the
225
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,320
blood, the bone, I felt the bone
in his hand and everything.
226
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,760
And so then he kind of like,
snapped out of it at that moment
227
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,880
because it was like, his eyes
was black for a while.
228
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,400
And when I bit his hand, he kind
of like, snapped out of and was
229
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,320
like, oh, shit.
And he just looked at me and he
230
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:29,160
was like, like, pick me up off
the floor and carried me in the
231
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,960
bathroom and started running the
water on me.
232
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,080
And he just was like, don't call
the cops on me.
233
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:43,840
Don't get locked up.
So yeah, and after that, I kind
234
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,640
of was just like pleading with
him to let me go to the
235
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,240
hospital.
Meanwhile, the kids is in the
236
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,600
room.
I was screaming for my, I was
237
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:52,840
screaming for help, but nobody,
they they was young.
238
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,560
They wasn't going to come from
out of their room.
239
00:13:55,200 --> 00:14:01,240
So when I finally got him to let
me go to the hospital, I was
240
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,760
just like, just let me go to the
hospital.
241
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,240
I just feel like I'm about to
pass out.
242
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:08,320
And he kind of like let me down
the steps into the basement and
243
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,440
I just never forget going into
that basement.
244
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,120
I felt like I was going to die
right then and there because he
245
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:18,000
had so many tools and so many
things like saws and bats and
246
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,800
and drills, all kinds of stuff
was in the basement.
247
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:24,520
But I got out of the basement
and I got into my car.
248
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,960
My truck was parked in the back
of the house.
249
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,680
And when I got in the truck, he
was just looking at me and he
250
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,840
was like, I'm killing myself.
And he just ran off up the
251
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:38,200
street the other way.
And I drove my car out the
252
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:42,640
alley, came around a block the
long way and ran in the house.
253
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,040
And I called for all the three
of the kids and they as soon as
254
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:46,760
they hurt me, they just ran down
the steps.
255
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:51,800
And we got in the car and we
start driving and as I'm driving
256
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,360
to the emergency room, I'm
swerving.
257
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:57,560
So a police officer was parked
right there on Lindbergh Blvd.
258
00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:00,080
He's seen me.
He just was like pulled me over.
259
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,200
And then when he pulled, got up
to the car, he was just escorted
260
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:06,600
me to the hospital and he was
escorted me to the hospital.
261
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:09,760
And I never forget when I got in
there, he was he was just
262
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,880
looking at me.
He was like you better press
263
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,920
chargers.
Like he saw my face, like my
264
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:17,440
face was bloody.
I had a gash right here that cut
265
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,640
inside my mouth, like my tooth
on the inside went in my mouth.
266
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,600
So it was a big gash in the
inside of my mouth that was
267
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,440
bleeding in the gash on the
outside.
268
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:30,760
I had a gash down here from my
tooth going in my face and my
269
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,600
tooth right here was knocked out
from the root.
270
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,240
Yeah.
Is your kids reacting while this
271
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,080
is going on?
Do they hear it or they sleep
272
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,920
through it?
They weren't asleep.
273
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,360
They were.
They were literally hiding
274
00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:56,000
behind their room doors at the
time.
275
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,400
They wasn't asleep at all.
Was this something that they
276
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,360
were used?
To yes.
277
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:06,440
They heard the violence in the
home regularly.
278
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:13,970
Is it ever occurred to you?
Like maybe I'm not going to
279
00:16:13,970 --> 00:16:20,050
press charges or did you know?
No, I knew I had to press
280
00:16:20,050 --> 00:16:22,770
charges.
I knew I had to press charges
281
00:16:22,770 --> 00:16:26,010
because he wasn't the type of
person like he's done this
282
00:16:26,010 --> 00:16:28,410
before.
And I remember one time it got
283
00:16:28,410 --> 00:16:32,130
so far as me calling his
probation officer and he talked
284
00:16:32,130 --> 00:16:35,810
me out of telling her the truth.
He was that good of persuading
285
00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:39,920
me not to press charges or, you
know, just to go along with it.
286
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:42,200
Like if I was bruised up, I stay
home.
287
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,200
He he went to jail before for
what?
288
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:50,400
The first time he went to jail,
he went to jail for robbing the
289
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,840
store.
And the ironic thing was the
290
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,800
store was on the corner of the
block where I grew up.
291
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:58,280
I never knew it was him that
robbed that Lady, but I remember
292
00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:01,240
what that Lady face look like
when he robbed her.
293
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,440
Miss Kim, I remember what her
face look like.
294
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,960
She had a black eye, black and
blue for a while.
295
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,040
He pistol whipped her.
I didn't know that was him until
296
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,720
after we were together.
And he would tell me.
297
00:17:12,079 --> 00:17:14,760
Yeah, you know, I got locked up,
so I robbed.
298
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:15,800
Oh, wow.
That was.
299
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,040
You never know.
And.
300
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:20,800
How much time did he do for
that?
301
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:24,880
He did 8 years for that, but he
was pretty young when he did
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00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,440
that, so he was like 16, about
to be 17.
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00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,000
So when he did that, they let
him go to jail.
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00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,840
He served some time and then he
got out on probation or parole
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00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,400
or whatever, but he violated
that because he got into a fight
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00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:42,920
with his then baby mom's husband
and he got in a fight with him,
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00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,440
which led him back to do the
rest of his time.
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00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:51,600
So this was someone, a violent
person, you've known him to be
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00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:55,640
violent?
The thing about it was, is that
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00:17:55,720 --> 00:18:01,280
I I met Tyree when I was 12.
He was probably 16.
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00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,640
He was a boy in the
neighborhood.
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00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,720
I was new to the neighborhood.
He was a boy in the
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00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,920
neighborhood.
If I had to go anywhere, I had
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00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,120
to walk past his block and he
was always outside.
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00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,840
So he was always like, hey, you
are anybody messing with you?
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00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,600
You know, it was those type of,
it was that type of
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00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,160
relationship.
It wasn't that I knew him, knew
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00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:24,320
him, you know what I'm saying?
And we met back up almost 12
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00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:27,280
years later.
So it went from a childhood
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00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:31,240
crush to all right, I just ran
into my childhood crush.
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00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,040
And this is at 16 years old when
you meet him.
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00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:37,880
He goes to prison at 17 years
old, which is a year later.
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00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,800
You told me he already had kids.
He already had two children, 16
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00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,360
years old, and I didn't know
that either.
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00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:48,640
I didn't know none of this until
I got or I was already involved
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00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:54,520
with him.
OK, When we spoke, you told me
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00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:59,040
one of the things that you were
able to convict him was a audio
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00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,200
recording.
What was the details of the
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00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,720
audio recording?
The details of the audio
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00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,680
recording was just a
conversation of him.
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00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:12,000
Just like you hear me saying,
you know, Tyree, I don't want to
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00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,120
do this anymore.
I just want a divorce.
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00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,200
And he's like, well, I don't
want a divorce.
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00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,720
You don't have any choice.
And then you hear him saying
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00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:24,240
things like, well, we're
married.
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00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,400
You, you don't have a choice.
You just don't have a choice.
337
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,200
I don't want a divorce.
I don't want a divorce.
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00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,760
And you just hear me constantly
saying it's, it's, it's enough.
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00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,760
I don't want to do this anymore.
And then I kind of got smart
340
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,160
with it at a point in time
because I felt, I really felt
341
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,560
like that night I was going to
die.
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00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,640
And I felt like he had the, the
ability to make anything up
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00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,600
towards me.
Oh, she ran away.
344
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:48,280
Oh, she just, she was cheated.
So I started asking questions
345
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,720
like, did I ever cheat on you?
I mean, because I need, I need
346
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,200
you to tell me what is the
reason you feel like you could
347
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,880
keep putting your hands on me?
Have I ever cheated on you?
348
00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:00,120
That I ever steal from you, that
I ever disrespect you?
349
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,080
And he's like, no, no, no, you
ain't never do none of that.
350
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,440
You ain't never do that.
Why are you asking me that?
351
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,440
I said because I just wanted to
be clear that I've never cheated
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00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,200
on you.
I've never disrespect you and I
353
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,760
never stole from you.
And in my mind, those are the
354
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,360
those are the type of women that
deserve, if not deserve.
355
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,960
But if a man is going to put
their hands on a woman, those
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00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,560
are the type of woman.
Those things happen.
357
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,600
I didn't cheat.
I never left my home.
358
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,800
My house was clean.
He he was living a good life as
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00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,160
far as me as a wife.
I made sure his clothes was
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00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,400
ironed, you know what I'm
saying?
361
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,440
Before he went to work like I
did everything.
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00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,080
Did you experience domestic
violence as a kid?
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00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,200
To a certain extent, like my mom
and my dad was never together,
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00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,720
but I did, which the witness
don't fight and I did know that
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00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:45,680
my dad hit women.
Thanks for listening to No Tears
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00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,240
for Black Girls.
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367
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:51,600
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368
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,280
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369
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:58,400
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371
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,840
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